Pondering

So my posts thus far, which have only been two, have been quite lengthy.  I'm really tired tonight so I'm going to sum up what's going on today and in my life in a nutshell (and while this will be somewhat long, it's seriously in a nutshell).
1) First and foremost, I am a follower of Christ and lover of almost everything he has created on this beautiful earth. Except mushrooms. Great taste, weird texture. I'm a texture gal.
2) Secondly, I have the most wonderful husband in the world.  I can get crazy, be mistaken at many things, happy and hysterical all at once, and he gets it. He loves me for it.  And I couldn't ask for anything or anyone more.  He has my whole heart, as he did from day one. I love you.
3) I have worked my little tooshie off since I was 15 to get to where I am today.  I have gone to school and am a RDH (Registered Dental Hygienist) in two states, and have finally landed my ideal job.  Which brings me to number four...
4) I have been stuck at a dead-end "pays the bills..." job for the past three and a half years.  And it has started to really wear me down.  The people have gotten worse all around me (we're talking customers and those "more qualified" than myself...if you know what I mean...) and what do I get for working my tooshie off day after day? Nothing. No respect, no thank yous, no pats on the back.  Just another shove in the direction of that line in the sand that I've been trying to stay away from for years.

Today was my breaking point.  Yesterday is when it really started (with the whole gagging thing), but today, I finally had what people would call a nervous breakdown or an anxiety attack.  I don't know what it was.  But I do know that I was ripping the uniform off a good 15 minutes before my shift started and crying hysterically and screaming at the top of my lungs that I deserve better.  Which is where my wonderful husband comes in.  He calls in "sick" for me (Thank the LORD for that man...).

So I've decided to quit my job.  As of tomorrow. No two weeks notice, no dilly-dallying and just torturing myself any longer, just a clean, cold cut.

I've been praying about it all day, and it's like God has his arms around me and is saying, "I love you so much, and I know that you've had to go through these trials, and I know how tough it's been on you, but I will provide.  I will help you.  I will love you no matter how hysterical you get on the kitchen floor.  Thank you for opening up to me."  I feel so at peace.  And that's what God is, right? Peace in His arms.